"Check I might have a puncture...yep, positive - puncture, puncture."
Sebastian Vettel's race falls apart at the very first turn, as faint contact with Daniel Ricciardo bursts his right rear tyre...
"Seb deserved that, he gave me no room."
Ricciardo is more circumspect after the race, but in the heat of the moment he places the blame firmly at the feet of his former team mate.
"Okay I spun...I think I've flat-spotted the tyres..."
Lap 18 and Vettel's day isn't getting better, as his fightback up the order is undone by a very uncharacteristic error at Turn 7.
"He just cut you up and gave you no space." (Williams to Bottas)
"Copy, there was no space." (Bottas)
"You had the line." (Williams)
On the other side of the Ferrari garage, things are even worse as Kimi Raikkonen retires following contact with Valtteri Bottas at Turn 5 - an incident Williams have an predictably partisan view of.
"Thanks guys, mega race...feels so good after so much bad luck!"
It comes good for Bottas, as the Finn goes on to score his second podium of the season in third.
"Aaarghhh **** we lost the **** podium."
Bottas' gain is Daniil Kvyat's loss, as the Red Bull driver finishes just two seconds shy of Bottas, having been third at the final restart.
"Probably your best drive of the season. You were a sitting duck unfortunately but you did everything you could, so well done."
Red Bull's Christian Horner makes a point of praising Kvyat after the race - and points out the Russian wasn't to blame in any way for losing out to Bottas on the run down to Turn 1.
"Thank you guys, good job. Good call on the strategy - obviously the safety car was a nice bonus."
Nico Hulkenberg is another to benefit from the safety car's intervention, which helps him secure seventh...
"Shut up. You're pushing, do not do that [let Bottas past]. I'll tell you where the traffic is, you just concentrate on the driving."
...and makes for a welcome change in tone to this rather uncharacteristic message delivered to Hulkenberg from his engineer in the final minutes of qualifying.
"Why didn't we split the cars? I don't understand why we didn't go for primes."
Back to the race, and Ricciardo feels Red Bull missed a trick by not opting for different strategies between himself and Kvyat for the restart.
"Can I ask why? These tyres feel good. I think that's the wrong call but I'm coming in."
Ricciardo isn't the only one with questions - Mercedes decision to switch to a two-stop has Hamilton in a spin, with the Briton wanting absolute clarity on why he is suddenly being asked to pit...
"Please check those tyres. I want some feedback."
Hamilton does eventually follow Mercedes' instructions, but he wants proof that the team's concerns over safety were valid.
"Nasr is struggling...he has a brake fire." (Button, lap 57)
"My brakes are finished." (Nasr, lap 58)
"Guys this situation is not good. It could have been the end of the straight..." (Nasr, lap 59)
Down at Sauber, Felipe Nasr is none too pleased after brake issues - helpfully reported by Jenson Button behind the safety car - result in a full failure just two laps later.
"The rears are on fire!"
Nasr isn't the first to experience brake issues - that dubious honour fell to Rosberg, whose brakes literally were aflame early on in FP1.
"It's like driving on ice. Quite a strange feeling." (Alonso)
"The grip is unbelievably low. Cannot even do the corners actually." (Massa)
FP1 causes plenty of issues in fact, especially with the new track surface yet to rubber in.
"I crashed. Sorry."
Max Verstappen is caught out by the poor grip levels in FP2, sliding into the barriers exiting Turn 16.
"Aiii! What a disaster!"
Fernando Alonso could well be talking about his race - but in fact it's the '500 laps' needed to recharge his energy recovery systems in FP2 that has drawn his ire.
"That was a good show of where we are - so far away..."
Things don't improve for McLaren, with Jenson Button offering a very frank appraisal of their form after taking the chequered flag in 14th.
"I crashed, again Turn 7. I'm okay. Sorry guys." (Vettel)
"No problem." (Ferrari)
"It is a problem. I did a **** job today."
Vettel also endures a miserable race, and doesn't hold back on the self-criticism after his race ends in the barriers.
"Yeaaaahhhhhhh! Really special, really awesome. I'm expecting a good podium..."
No such concerns for Nico Rosberg, who has the final word on the track and in Say What? following his resounding triumph in Mexico City.